Frequently Asked Questions

B. Are you concerned about your own children? Are they possibly being affected by violence or sexual behavior in their home?

1. Is your child being affected by violence in his/her home?
2. Is your child being affected by sexual behavior in his/her home?
   

Question 1: Children of all ages can be affected by violence. Even in the womb, it is possible that violence towards a developing child’s mother may cause harm to the unborn child. Once a child is born, a small infant is aware of fear or stress in a parent. They are affected by the sounds and sights of violence even before they can understand what is happening. Recent discoveries indicate that an infant who is exposed to violence, experiences abnormal changes in their nerve pathways making them more vulnerable to stress in the future. Older toddlers, preschoolers and young school age children are affected by violence too both in their nerve pathways and in their learning about the world. They may have chronic worry about safety of a parent or loved person, they may act out violent behavior towards others as a way of pretending they are grown up and they may lose respect for the abused parent who may seem weak to them. Adolescents who witness or experience violent behavior will often act out to stop the violence by becoming aggressive themselves.

When a child sees adults hit or hurt other adults, he or she is learning that it is ok to harm another person as a way to solve problems. He or she is learning that violence is an acceptable way to release anger.

Any time a child is hit while a parent is angry or is injured by discipline practices, he or she is learning. That child is learning that violence is a way to solve problems and that violence is a way to express anger. This belief will no doubt create problems for that child in the future.

If you are a victim of violence please get help for yourself and spare your children the pain of seeing you hurt.

If you are violent towards your partner or child, please get help for yourself to protect your children from the pain of seeing violence and/or practicing violence themselves. Call the Family Support Network in your area.

Question 2: If you are concerned about your child’s sexual behavior or fear that an adult may be acting sexual with your child, please take action. Remember that, 90% of sexually abused children are abused by someone they know and trust. Here is a list of warning signs that a child may be a victim of sexual abuse:

• Sexual actions with dolls, toys, or other children.
• Complaints of pain in the genital areas.
• Stomach pains that are not explained by illness.
• Acting sexual towards adults.
• Has a secret with an adult or older child that he/she will not tell.
• Sudden change in behavior where the child acts much younger (bedwetting, day wetting, fearful of nighttime, clingy).
• Sudden changes in mood (seems depressed or worried, more aggressive or more withdrawn).
• Sudden changes in general behaviors (change in eating habits or trouble swallowing, running away from home, hurting self, sexualized manner).
• Fear of certain people, places, or times of day.
• Fear of going to bed.
• Withdrawn behavior around certain people or places.

If you know a child with some of these warning signs please get help for the child to find out if they are being abused or having other difficulties. Please remember that most sexually abused children do not tell their parents, no matter how great their relationship is. You can call the free Stop It Now helpline at 1-888-Prevent.

Here is a list of warning signs that an adult or older child is at risk for or is already sexually abusing others:

• Refuses to let a child set any of his/her own limits.
• Insists on hugging, kissing, touching or wrestling with a child who does not want to.
• Seems overly interested in a child’s sexual parts or development.
• Tries to stop normal child development (over reacts to a teens interest in dating).
• Insists on time alone with a child when no one will interrupt them.
• Spends most of his or her free time with children young teens.
• Does not have many social contacts with people their own age.
• Walks in on children dressing or using the toilet.
• Looks at child pornography.
• Asks adult partners to look or act like a child during sexual contact.
• Masturbates excessively.
• Talks a lot about sexual activities of children or teens.
• Encourages secrets with children or teens.
• Was abused as a child and won’t get help for it.
• Makes fun of a child’s body parts or calls a child sexual names.
• Downloads off the internet and is secretive about what he or she is downloading.
  

If you know adult who has some of these behaviors, please seek help. You can call the free Stop It Now Helpline at 1-888-Prevent.

Other FAQs

A. Are you concerned about a child in your family, church, work place or neighborhood?

C. Are you concerned about yourself? Are you easily frustrated with your children and find yourself behaving in ways you do not feel comfortable with?

D. Do you find your child especially challenging or draining? Are you not getting the support you need or want?

E. Do you just want to help the families and children in your daily life?